Someone will die, oh yes... someone will die. I had to go shopping for some things for my mother just now, and run some additional errands. First, I go and get a gift certificate... no problem there, the mall wasn't very busy at all (surprisingly) and it was a simple in-and-out job. Next, I have to run to the bank for her real quick before it closes at noon... not a big deal, I'm just hoping I don't run into my ex-boyfriend's mother, who shall be called Mrs. Creepy for all intents and purposes. I park, walk into the bank... no sign of Mrs. Creepy, no problems. I'm waiting politely behind a man in front of me when an elderly gentleman walks in behind me. All is well, he's old, whatever. everything proceeds normally as he steps up to the counter beside me and takes out a check and identification to cash the check with... this is when the Bomb of Perversion is dropped directly on my unwitting head as he turns himself completely to face me (I'm looking straight ahead, ignoring this... my unconscious mind can apparently already tell what disgusting attention is about to be thrown my way) and this is when the chief of the Horny Old Toad clan from the mystically slimy land of Impotent, province of Inbred decides to utter with as much musty breath as his emphysema will allow. "Ooooohhh... yeah..." while standing not even three feet from me. The bank teller pays no attention to this; not that I blame her, she was probably too much in her own world, thinking of how on Earth she was going to fix that monstrosity of bad highlights and bull-dykiness that was once considered hair on top of her head. So I cash the check, say "thank you", and haul ass out of that place as soon as possible. At this point, I'm in my car, door locked before I'm even fully settled in, and ready to bind three or four cigarettes together in an effort to calm myself from the raging desire burning in my gut to go back in there and butterfly that asshole's pitifully worthless skin-flap of manhood from base to tip with a ballpoint pen... but I simply drive away, albeit somewhat angrily and fantasizing about having him attached to my car's undercarriage, so that he may enjoy my ride to my next stop while experiencing a slow and painful dragging death, courtesy of moi.
Okay, so I'm fuming, but I make my way over to my next stop, a nice little grocery store that I've never had issue with, and have found that their products are immensely enjoyable, and immensely cheap, to say the least. All goes well, and I'm in and out of there too... so I go to my next stop, literally right across the street. This is another grocery store that I have to visit as the previous store didn't have an item my mother requires for one of her many deliciously decadent desserts. I'm frustrated because the people in the parking lot seem to be lacking any and all common courtesies associated with driving, and I'm sitting at the stop sign for almost four minutes, not even able to edge forward as there are morons blowing through the stop sign and the parking lot at a good 40 clicks an hour. Understandably, I'm a little hesitant to scoot forward, as it is very clear that due to being too busy talking with their exes on their little rinky-dink cell phones about who'll get the children this year so they can bang their respective flavor-of-the-month Christmas Eve night, these lovely individuals are going to completely obliterate the front of my vehicle if I so much as move forward an inch more than I already have.
Finally, I catch a break in traffic and zoom forward, towards the back area of the lot in an effort to find a spot out of the way. Spots are hard to find, as is expected at this time of year, but I manage to catch a guy who's just pulled out of his spot... thank you sir, and waving nicely to the kind gentleman who blocked other traffic so that I could slide right on in... you have my gratitude, my good man. I get out of my car, make sure I'm all locked up and lights are off, then proceed bravely toward the store. I have barely moved six feet when I hear the second cat call of the day, in the form of a whistle from a sort of college-studenty redneck driving through the opposite parking lot lane. There are other women around that would certainly be considered more attractive than I by his surely high (uh, yeah....) standards, but as I look up to see where the noise came from, I notice that he was most definitely looking at me... oh joy to the world, our black-toothed, gym-socks-shoved-down-the-front-of-his-pants-to-create-the-perfect-illusion-of-mediocrity Savior has come. And at what better time of the year? Why, surely, this was exquisite timing, for as though I didn't already hate humanity enough today, here comes this beautifully breathtaking specimen of what happens when brothers hump their retarded sisters to prove to me that low, I am wrong! For humanity is apparently far, far worse than I originally thought. What joy! What happiness! What sadness when I remembered that I didn't have a gun or even a mere knife ready and at hand in order to soundly dispose of this menace to our kind's oh-so-very-sanctified gene pool. Yea, verily, for soon enough we shall surely hear of his pooch girlfriend bearing puppy-children in his uniquely hideous likeness... maybe after they become famous from the tabloids, they'll move far, far away... hey, one can dream, right?
And so ladies, this rant is dedicated to you. For I hear your despairing cries, lamenting the lost "gentlemen" of yore, and wish to bring you tidings of great joy! For unto you, my dears, is born a Savior! In the form of a genetically modified race of men that I shall be creating in my basement laboratory, splicing together the genes of such greats as Henry Kissinger, Pierce Brosnan, and my boyfriend, who shall be unnamed for purposes of privacy and because I'm sure he'd rather not be officially mentioned as having part in any of my crazed schemes. So fear not, fair maidens! For I'm in college! That means I'm smart enough to do this, right? :-D Well, wish me luck anyway... until next time, I bid you adieu.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Fucking decals!!!
Okay, something I have found that really just bugs the ever-loving shit out of me are those little ribbon magnets that people put on the backs of their cars that say things like, “I (heart) my (whatever the fuck breed of dog they own)”, or “Soccer”, etc. You get the drill. What the fuck is this shit? Are you kidding me? Do these people not realize that the symbolism of the “ribbon” is in remembrance or in honor of such important causes as supporting our troops, cancer awareness, and so on? That the logo in and of itself denotes import and draws attention to the reason behind the use of said ribbon symbol? The ribbon is reserved for causes that should be upheld and honored by everyone, and the fact that there are people out there who actually seem to be ignorant of the importance of the ribbon’s symbolism inspires nothing but dumb-founded awe in me.
Awww… you have a dog that you love vewwy, vewwy much… how sweet. While I do not deny you the right to love that fucking crap-machine for all it’s worth (being an animal lover myself) I will deny you every possibly conceivable right to scream to the world the very much-so homo-erotic love you have for the animal on a magnet bearing the highly symbolic shape of a ribbon!
“Why?’ you may ask? Well, if you’re honestly asking me why, then I have no time to waste with you, as I just explained “why’ in the preceding paragraph, you illiterate little miscarriage of humanity. If you have not been able to tap into the great vat of our kind’s collective wisdom, then hey, I’m happy for you that you can live your life with the ability to be satisfied that you’re apparently missing 100+ points of IQ intellect. I’m sure you make your dear old mum so proud each time she takes a look at your retarded widdle face and wishes that she had thrown herself down the stairs while pregnant with you when she had the chance.
Awww… you have a dog that you love vewwy, vewwy much… how sweet. While I do not deny you the right to love that fucking crap-machine for all it’s worth (being an animal lover myself) I will deny you every possibly conceivable right to scream to the world the very much-so homo-erotic love you have for the animal on a magnet bearing the highly symbolic shape of a ribbon!
“Why?’ you may ask? Well, if you’re honestly asking me why, then I have no time to waste with you, as I just explained “why’ in the preceding paragraph, you illiterate little miscarriage of humanity. If you have not been able to tap into the great vat of our kind’s collective wisdom, then hey, I’m happy for you that you can live your life with the ability to be satisfied that you’re apparently missing 100+ points of IQ intellect. I’m sure you make your dear old mum so proud each time she takes a look at your retarded widdle face and wishes that she had thrown herself down the stairs while pregnant with you when she had the chance.
Un-fucking-believable
Name: BABAY MAMA'S
Type: Just for Fun - Totally Random
Description: THIS GROUP IS FOR ALL THE BABY MAMA'S/ DADDY'S AND FUTURE BABY MAMA'S/DADDY'S OUT THERE :)
U DONT GOTTA BE PREGNANT TO JOIN......
I just came across this particular group today after checking Facebook and seeing that a girl I went to high school with just joined it. I just found out recently that she is going to be a new mommy soon, and wish all the best of luck to her. So I’m looking at this group’s page and notice that out of the six people on the “administrative” page, only two are even in college. And, after looking through the “wall” for what comments people have posted, I see the first one to greet me is a girl, barely out of high school, who has left her son with her sister (in Juniata) to go to school full time… in State College. She is halfway across the state, without her baby, and actually attempting to live a “normal” college life. This, folks, is where the rant shall commence.
So, you think that you’re going to just skip across the state and live like every other college student there? Really? Cause honey, I think not. No, Miss Hotpants, you see, that is not how it works. You wanna be a “normal”, “regular” college student and live the college student life? Well here’s your reality check babe: the moment you chose to keep that little boy and be his mommy, your chance at running off to a four-year college and sloughing off responsibility ended. You may not simply leave that child in your sister’s care so that you may go have “growing/learning experiences” ‘cause you know what? You just had a huge one! You think that becoming a life-giving care-taker of another human is so small a task that you can just leave it up to someone else? Well, clearly, you did not take that “growing experience” to heart then. Because anyone who cares even a little bit about making sure that you know what it’s like to tough it out on your own and learn from that experience would most certainly not have let you just skip off without that baby. Who do you think you’re gonna have watch that baby for you when your sister says she won’t anymore? What are you gonna do when you have a big-people job in addition to that little boy to juggle? It is this type of careless thought that makes me sick. God help the poor girl who gets to be my daughter and turns out to be a complete friggin’ idiot. Because I will tell you right now, there is no way that she’s gonna just be able to say, “Here you go,” give me the baby to keep until one of her breaks from school, and then just go tripping off to enjoy college for all it’s worth. Oh, hell no. You take that baby and you lay your butt on down in the bed you made for yourself, because if you were old enough to decide you knew everything about birth control, then you are old enough to take that baby and do everything for him that a mother who was ready for her child would. If you are intelligent enough to say, “Oh my God, I haven’t even graduated high school yet,” and choose to either abort or give the child up for adoption, then fine, do as you will. But if you keep that baby and then decide you want to enjoy your teenage years like any teenager without that sort of responsibility would, well that’s when the shit hits the fan with me, babe.
Now we move on to ridiculousness of the majority of the people who are in this group. For God’s sake, these people haven’t even graduated high school yet! The one guy I saw on there is only a freshman! Oh, and the picture he has with his profile? Yeah, it’s him standing in front of the camera with a bunch of bills fanned out in both ass-grabbing little fists and this stupid look on his face that I’ll bet his mother would just love to smack right off of him. How did he manage to find someone to have sex with him? And exactly why was he having sex at the tender age of 15? Oh my God! I can’t stand this… I’m putting chastity belts on every one of these retards.
Type: Just for Fun - Totally Random
Description: THIS GROUP IS FOR ALL THE BABY MAMA'S/ DADDY'S AND FUTURE BABY MAMA'S/DADDY'S OUT THERE :)
U DONT GOTTA BE PREGNANT TO JOIN......
I just came across this particular group today after checking Facebook and seeing that a girl I went to high school with just joined it. I just found out recently that she is going to be a new mommy soon, and wish all the best of luck to her. So I’m looking at this group’s page and notice that out of the six people on the “administrative” page, only two are even in college. And, after looking through the “wall” for what comments people have posted, I see the first one to greet me is a girl, barely out of high school, who has left her son with her sister (in Juniata) to go to school full time… in State College. She is halfway across the state, without her baby, and actually attempting to live a “normal” college life. This, folks, is where the rant shall commence.
So, you think that you’re going to just skip across the state and live like every other college student there? Really? Cause honey, I think not. No, Miss Hotpants, you see, that is not how it works. You wanna be a “normal”, “regular” college student and live the college student life? Well here’s your reality check babe: the moment you chose to keep that little boy and be his mommy, your chance at running off to a four-year college and sloughing off responsibility ended. You may not simply leave that child in your sister’s care so that you may go have “growing/learning experiences” ‘cause you know what? You just had a huge one! You think that becoming a life-giving care-taker of another human is so small a task that you can just leave it up to someone else? Well, clearly, you did not take that “growing experience” to heart then. Because anyone who cares even a little bit about making sure that you know what it’s like to tough it out on your own and learn from that experience would most certainly not have let you just skip off without that baby. Who do you think you’re gonna have watch that baby for you when your sister says she won’t anymore? What are you gonna do when you have a big-people job in addition to that little boy to juggle? It is this type of careless thought that makes me sick. God help the poor girl who gets to be my daughter and turns out to be a complete friggin’ idiot. Because I will tell you right now, there is no way that she’s gonna just be able to say, “Here you go,” give me the baby to keep until one of her breaks from school, and then just go tripping off to enjoy college for all it’s worth. Oh, hell no. You take that baby and you lay your butt on down in the bed you made for yourself, because if you were old enough to decide you knew everything about birth control, then you are old enough to take that baby and do everything for him that a mother who was ready for her child would. If you are intelligent enough to say, “Oh my God, I haven’t even graduated high school yet,” and choose to either abort or give the child up for adoption, then fine, do as you will. But if you keep that baby and then decide you want to enjoy your teenage years like any teenager without that sort of responsibility would, well that’s when the shit hits the fan with me, babe.
Now we move on to ridiculousness of the majority of the people who are in this group. For God’s sake, these people haven’t even graduated high school yet! The one guy I saw on there is only a freshman! Oh, and the picture he has with his profile? Yeah, it’s him standing in front of the camera with a bunch of bills fanned out in both ass-grabbing little fists and this stupid look on his face that I’ll bet his mother would just love to smack right off of him. How did he manage to find someone to have sex with him? And exactly why was he having sex at the tender age of 15? Oh my God! I can’t stand this… I’m putting chastity belts on every one of these retards.
Same old song and dance
I think it’s interesting when two people who really shouldn’t be together stay together anyway. I suppose it could be simply because being with that person has just become habit, but sometimes it seems as though it’s because one person’s habit is simply to remain in a relationship, never mind the fact that he knows this relationship is not at all the type of relationship he really wants or deserves, and he really isn’t dating the person for any reason other than the simple fact that he just has to be in a relationship with someone… anyone. I’m not going to stand on a soapbox and say that these people are to be frowned upon, as I was in a place like that once too, however, I “grew” out of it… read: “got dropped on my ass and realized that I am the only person that I need to be relying on to make me happy.”
It is perfectly honest to admit that you’re afraid of being along against the big, scary world, or that you’re simply afraid of facing that dark spot that all of us have to go through in order to become the independent, self-sufficient people we were meant to be. If you can admit these things to yourself, fine. It is when people do not perform such acts of introspection and force other people to keep them from falling into that dark spot that is truly distasteful to me. What, you honestly think you’re going to go merrily along through your whole life, all “tra-la-la, the world is lovely”, and never have to face hardship and despair? Please, spare me. It is only after you have completely imploded in upon yourself that you may grow. Hopefully, into a person who says, “you know, I don’t really need anyone else to make me happy… and the reason none of those other relationships worked? Because I wasn’t even happy with myself to begin with!” That is what you hope a person who has lost the “everything” they found in their former partner will say. However, I will admit that not all of us are as strong as that… some people would just rather sit in their old room at their parents’ house, basking in their own misery, because, as it would turn out, they were just weak, sniveling little drama queens to begin with, and this is where their life’s story will end… never climbing up out of the darkness, never extending their hands toward the light, never accomplishing anything because they still have not learned the lesson that was intended: once must be satisfied with oneself first if he is to be satisfied with anyone else. This is all common-place, routine shit, I know, but I think that a lot of people forget about this and do not realize that if they really are looking for happy in a relationship, they have got to be happy being alone, first. I don’t exactly mean “happy being single”, although that is a part of it, what I mean is be happy with just yourself, whenever you are the only one you have to get yourself through… and whenever you are happy with just that… then you may go on to be in a relationship, where a person will only make you happier than you were before, and not shoulder the entire responsibility of creating your happiness for you.
It is perfectly honest to admit that you’re afraid of being along against the big, scary world, or that you’re simply afraid of facing that dark spot that all of us have to go through in order to become the independent, self-sufficient people we were meant to be. If you can admit these things to yourself, fine. It is when people do not perform such acts of introspection and force other people to keep them from falling into that dark spot that is truly distasteful to me. What, you honestly think you’re going to go merrily along through your whole life, all “tra-la-la, the world is lovely”, and never have to face hardship and despair? Please, spare me. It is only after you have completely imploded in upon yourself that you may grow. Hopefully, into a person who says, “you know, I don’t really need anyone else to make me happy… and the reason none of those other relationships worked? Because I wasn’t even happy with myself to begin with!” That is what you hope a person who has lost the “everything” they found in their former partner will say. However, I will admit that not all of us are as strong as that… some people would just rather sit in their old room at their parents’ house, basking in their own misery, because, as it would turn out, they were just weak, sniveling little drama queens to begin with, and this is where their life’s story will end… never climbing up out of the darkness, never extending their hands toward the light, never accomplishing anything because they still have not learned the lesson that was intended: once must be satisfied with oneself first if he is to be satisfied with anyone else. This is all common-place, routine shit, I know, but I think that a lot of people forget about this and do not realize that if they really are looking for happy in a relationship, they have got to be happy being alone, first. I don’t exactly mean “happy being single”, although that is a part of it, what I mean is be happy with just yourself, whenever you are the only one you have to get yourself through… and whenever you are happy with just that… then you may go on to be in a relationship, where a person will only make you happier than you were before, and not shoulder the entire responsibility of creating your happiness for you.
God help me
So I was reading a news article the other day that was talking about a black fireman in LA who’s suing the city for racial discrimination after the other firefighters pulled a prank on him and put dog food in the spaghetti he was eating. He claims it was a malicious intent to degrade him the way his enslaved ancestors were because the firefighters wouldn’t tell him what was in the food after they started asking and he questioned the spaghetti’s contents. Now, I know that pranks like this are actually pretty common in those types of vocations where the guys just need to let off some steam, and are just playing around with the new guys; this particular black man being a newbie to the firehouse. I can understand people saying, “Fine, play the prank, but just choose a different one to do the black guys.”
Well, here’s what I have to say. Sooner or later, all the equality that people have been fighting for for so long is going to catch up to them. This is seen in the news story as illustrated above. The firefighters were only doing what they would to any newcomer: playing a prank because he’s the newbie, and they want to give him a hard time. And maybe they were a little rude to him in the off time, however, not once was any racial epitaph quipped, and not once did anyone of those men do anything that could be obviously viewed to be a racist act. The dog food. Yeah, it was dog food in the spaghetti. And they started to laugh when you started to eat, and didn’t tell you what was in it after you asked. You think you’re the first person this has ever happened to? No, buddy, believe me, you are most certainly not, and I can positively guarantee that you will not be the last to suffer this “great indignity”. To you, it was a malicious prank aimed at making you feel inferior because you’re black. To them, it was most likely just a prank that they pull with everyone who’s new. Don’t like it? Feeling out of the loop? Tough. That is the norm for everyone who’s new to a job, and firefighters are infamous for some of the pranks they pull on each other. What’s next, is some Irish guy who gets the dog food spaghetti from an English guy gonna say that he’s being “put in his place” by the English firefighter in a harkening to a time when the English viewed the Irish in the same way the blacks in America were once viewed? No. No one will say that, because you know what? The punches have been dealt and taken, but those groups who were abused have managed to claw their way up despite that.
Now there is no way I’m saying that this is not the same for African Americans here, however, this particular firefighter’s case illustrates something that is very prevalent in this nation: over sensitivity. You ask for equality? All right, I’ll give it to you. But that means absolutely no special treatment just because you happen to be of a different race than those around you. That also means that the same mean shit “those” people pull on each other? Gets pulled on you, motherfucker. Equality means tolerance of each other, and this tolerance means dealing with the same shit that others have to deal with. And when it gets tough, you may not cop out by claiming that all this “hardship” is falling upon you just because of your race, and the history of said race. In the end, it could be worse. Just because you seem to have lost your sense of humor, and can’t understand the fact that maybe those guys were giving it to you rough because of something you’ve done to make them do that does not mean that it was all racially motivated. Quite the opposite. It could very well be that you’re just an idiot, those guys didn’t like you because of it, and decided to pull mean little newbie pranks on you and be mean because they just didn’t like you. Equality, it can be a major bitch, but it’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative, don’t you think?
Well, here’s what I have to say. Sooner or later, all the equality that people have been fighting for for so long is going to catch up to them. This is seen in the news story as illustrated above. The firefighters were only doing what they would to any newcomer: playing a prank because he’s the newbie, and they want to give him a hard time. And maybe they were a little rude to him in the off time, however, not once was any racial epitaph quipped, and not once did anyone of those men do anything that could be obviously viewed to be a racist act. The dog food. Yeah, it was dog food in the spaghetti. And they started to laugh when you started to eat, and didn’t tell you what was in it after you asked. You think you’re the first person this has ever happened to? No, buddy, believe me, you are most certainly not, and I can positively guarantee that you will not be the last to suffer this “great indignity”. To you, it was a malicious prank aimed at making you feel inferior because you’re black. To them, it was most likely just a prank that they pull with everyone who’s new. Don’t like it? Feeling out of the loop? Tough. That is the norm for everyone who’s new to a job, and firefighters are infamous for some of the pranks they pull on each other. What’s next, is some Irish guy who gets the dog food spaghetti from an English guy gonna say that he’s being “put in his place” by the English firefighter in a harkening to a time when the English viewed the Irish in the same way the blacks in America were once viewed? No. No one will say that, because you know what? The punches have been dealt and taken, but those groups who were abused have managed to claw their way up despite that.
Now there is no way I’m saying that this is not the same for African Americans here, however, this particular firefighter’s case illustrates something that is very prevalent in this nation: over sensitivity. You ask for equality? All right, I’ll give it to you. But that means absolutely no special treatment just because you happen to be of a different race than those around you. That also means that the same mean shit “those” people pull on each other? Gets pulled on you, motherfucker. Equality means tolerance of each other, and this tolerance means dealing with the same shit that others have to deal with. And when it gets tough, you may not cop out by claiming that all this “hardship” is falling upon you just because of your race, and the history of said race. In the end, it could be worse. Just because you seem to have lost your sense of humor, and can’t understand the fact that maybe those guys were giving it to you rough because of something you’ve done to make them do that does not mean that it was all racially motivated. Quite the opposite. It could very well be that you’re just an idiot, those guys didn’t like you because of it, and decided to pull mean little newbie pranks on you and be mean because they just didn’t like you. Equality, it can be a major bitch, but it’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative, don’t you think?
It's Raining Losers...
I still love you more than anything in the world.
I wanted us to last for a life time together.
I wanted us to last forever.
I wanted to be the on you hold.
I wanted to be the one with whom you grow old.
I wanted to wake up to you beautiful face each day.
I wanted you to stay.
This was not so.
You had to go.
You left me for some other guy.
While inside I layed down to die.
I do not say this to make you sad.
I do not say this to make you feel bad.
I only speek from the heart.
I wish we never had to part.
I just want you to know i still offer my hand.
If you do not take it I can no longer stand.
I should fall apart.
If you should depart.
My love still runs so true for you.
Please to me be true.
I love you with all my heart "Carrie" [name changed]. You know that so please come back to me.
All right, this little gem came from a friend's facebook wall. I took it and pasted it here because it is truly the most pathetic piece of crap I have ever read in my life. I hate this poem, and therefore, the person who wrote it, for the following reasons:
1) Learn to spell, you whiny, snot-nosed little waste of so-called “masculinity”
2) You cannot, I repeat cannot rhyme “part” with “-part”. I don’t care if the words were “part” and “depart”, you cannot rhyme them, end of story. Here’s $5, go get yourself some talent
3) Now, I wasn’t there when she broke up with you, so I don’t know if it was actually for another man or not, anyway, point is this: she most likely dumped you because you are an obnoxiously clingy little emo-bitch, and guaranteed, even a Thai transsexual seems more manly than you do right at this very moment.
4) Grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar. If you are going to speak English, please, for the love of all that is holy, please try to at least have some semblance of grammar. I don’t ask for much, just a slight knowledge is it. Which you clearly do not have, you little fuck-tard.
5) This was not so.
You had to go.
“I will not eat them on a plane, I will not eat them on a train. I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam I Am.” This is exactly what this particular stanza of the poetic master-piece above reminds me of. Hint for you: men who write like kindergartners are not sexy.
6) If you are allegedly not writing this to make her sad or “feel bad” (*shudder*) than why are you telling her this? Hm? Yeah, you’re getting it off your chest, but I guarantee that that is most definitely not the only reason you have chosen to bless this woman with this embarrassingly illiterate load of horseshit. Could it possibly be that you’ve decided, “Oh, hey! I have a good idea: if I just make her feel really guilty about leaving me, she’ll take me back right? Yuck yuck yuck.” (*sigh*) No, no, sad little geekling, alas, that is not how it works. You see, when one loves someone as deeply as you say you love this woman, then you must let her be free, so the old saying goes. If the “butterfly” returns, then it was meant to be… but sometimes, as in your case, the butterfly takes off with a resounding “Fuck you, ya’ creepy bastard!” and flits away, off to find someone who won’t attempt to smother her by closing her in a tightly sealed jar of neediness.
7) You put this on her Facebook wall? For all of her friends to see? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You think her friends are going to have pity on you and beg her to take you back? Hell no! We’ll all say, “Wow, what an incredibly immature, inappropriate, and very, very creepy motherfucker,” and promptly call her to dissuade her from any yearning she may possibly have for your lame ass. You could’ve written her a nice letter, or even an e-mail for God’s sake, but no, you had to put this on a public-domain website in your pathetic attempt to embarrass her so badly, she has no choice but to take your sorry, milk-toast butt back. Not happening, stupid idea, and for that, I make fun of you, oh you Most High Paragon of Idiocy, you.
All right, I think you can catch my drift. I know I’m not the best poet in the world. However, I realize this and keep my stuff to myself, as it only serves the purpose of catharsis anyway, and is not really written for anyone else to read… just yours truly. What I really, really don’t get is why on Earth he would put this on her Facebook wall. I’ve already outlined what I’m very sure is the reasoning behind this act above, however it still boggles and confounds the mind! ‘K’, that’s enough for now… but I’ll be damned if his sweet tears of despair don’t make a delicious low-cal sweetener for my morning brew of rage-inated coffee.
Final thought: Remember kids: “It’s down the block, not across the street!” Here’s hoping you get it right the first time, jackass.
I wanted us to last for a life time together.
I wanted us to last forever.
I wanted to be the on you hold.
I wanted to be the one with whom you grow old.
I wanted to wake up to you beautiful face each day.
I wanted you to stay.
This was not so.
You had to go.
You left me for some other guy.
While inside I layed down to die.
I do not say this to make you sad.
I do not say this to make you feel bad.
I only speek from the heart.
I wish we never had to part.
I just want you to know i still offer my hand.
If you do not take it I can no longer stand.
I should fall apart.
If you should depart.
My love still runs so true for you.
Please to me be true.
I love you with all my heart "Carrie" [name changed]. You know that so please come back to me.
All right, this little gem came from a friend's facebook wall. I took it and pasted it here because it is truly the most pathetic piece of crap I have ever read in my life. I hate this poem, and therefore, the person who wrote it, for the following reasons:
1) Learn to spell, you whiny, snot-nosed little waste of so-called “masculinity”
2) You cannot, I repeat cannot rhyme “part” with “-part”. I don’t care if the words were “part” and “depart”, you cannot rhyme them, end of story. Here’s $5, go get yourself some talent
3) Now, I wasn’t there when she broke up with you, so I don’t know if it was actually for another man or not, anyway, point is this: she most likely dumped you because you are an obnoxiously clingy little emo-bitch, and guaranteed, even a Thai transsexual seems more manly than you do right at this very moment.
4) Grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar. If you are going to speak English, please, for the love of all that is holy, please try to at least have some semblance of grammar. I don’t ask for much, just a slight knowledge is it. Which you clearly do not have, you little fuck-tard.
5) This was not so.
You had to go.
“I will not eat them on a plane, I will not eat them on a train. I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam I Am.” This is exactly what this particular stanza of the poetic master-piece above reminds me of. Hint for you: men who write like kindergartners are not sexy.
6) If you are allegedly not writing this to make her sad or “feel bad” (*shudder*) than why are you telling her this? Hm? Yeah, you’re getting it off your chest, but I guarantee that that is most definitely not the only reason you have chosen to bless this woman with this embarrassingly illiterate load of horseshit. Could it possibly be that you’ve decided, “Oh, hey! I have a good idea: if I just make her feel really guilty about leaving me, she’ll take me back right? Yuck yuck yuck.” (*sigh*) No, no, sad little geekling, alas, that is not how it works. You see, when one loves someone as deeply as you say you love this woman, then you must let her be free, so the old saying goes. If the “butterfly” returns, then it was meant to be… but sometimes, as in your case, the butterfly takes off with a resounding “Fuck you, ya’ creepy bastard!” and flits away, off to find someone who won’t attempt to smother her by closing her in a tightly sealed jar of neediness.
7) You put this on her Facebook wall? For all of her friends to see? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You think her friends are going to have pity on you and beg her to take you back? Hell no! We’ll all say, “Wow, what an incredibly immature, inappropriate, and very, very creepy motherfucker,” and promptly call her to dissuade her from any yearning she may possibly have for your lame ass. You could’ve written her a nice letter, or even an e-mail for God’s sake, but no, you had to put this on a public-domain website in your pathetic attempt to embarrass her so badly, she has no choice but to take your sorry, milk-toast butt back. Not happening, stupid idea, and for that, I make fun of you, oh you Most High Paragon of Idiocy, you.
All right, I think you can catch my drift. I know I’m not the best poet in the world. However, I realize this and keep my stuff to myself, as it only serves the purpose of catharsis anyway, and is not really written for anyone else to read… just yours truly. What I really, really don’t get is why on Earth he would put this on her Facebook wall. I’ve already outlined what I’m very sure is the reasoning behind this act above, however it still boggles and confounds the mind! ‘K’, that’s enough for now… but I’ll be damned if his sweet tears of despair don’t make a delicious low-cal sweetener for my morning brew of rage-inated coffee.
Final thought: Remember kids: “It’s down the block, not across the street!” Here’s hoping you get it right the first time, jackass.
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